Money Players

Ich bin ein Anteater

By Marc Isenberg, UC Irvine (MBA, class of 2005)

UC Irvine athletics is on a hot streak. In May the men's volleyball team won the NCAA Championship. The baseball team advanced to the College World Series. After losing the first game, the Anteaters went on to win two thrilling extra-inning games before getting eliminated last night. Everybody is rooting these days for the Anteaters, even President Bush, who said "Go Anteaters. Fight Anteaters." Unfortunately, Bush's enthusiasm was about a 1 on the  "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job" meter.

As the Los Angeles Times reported, Omaha really got behind the Anteaters:

Vendors all over Omaha have been cashing in on Anteater hype. Ashley Grover was at a merchandise stand near the stadium selling hats, shirts and other memorabilia Wednesday afternoon. One shirt had pictures of an anteater and a beaver. Written on it was "BEAVER or EATER, who's going down?"

"Cashing in on Anteater hype"? Really? I think the example illustrates (almost too graphically) that tshirts with double (actually triple) entendres sell, but nice work by the Times writers to sneak this by their editors.

The more people know about the Anteaters, the better our world will be. For your consideration. And this.

Go Zots!

NY Giant fan stuck in the 90s

The Star-Ledger reported that the ex-wife of Giant defensive end Michael Strahan held a yard sale over the weekend. After a nasty divorce hopefully this everything-must-go sale won't cheapen their memories. Going once, twice. Two television sets sold to Giant fan Jamal Callaway. Price: $100. The reporter then asked if the televisions were flat screens. Callaway replied (Suggestion: give a deadpanned reading for full effect): "She's not that mad at him."

Roy Williams won't drink the Kool Aid...

...but he will pour Coke reluctantly into a Dasani cup.

According to the Charlotte Observer's Scott Fowler, Williams grumbled, "Everybody pay attention. Kids are getting killed in a foreign country and people are worried about me putting drinks in an NCAA-sponsored cup."

Roy is probably my favorite college basketball coach.  Roy doesn't give a flip that he's biting the two hands that feed -- and refresh -- him, the NCAA and Coke (which owns Dasani).

But Roy doesn't see the connection: If we don't support NCAA sponsors, we're supporting terrorists. Victory begins at home!

More flipping fun...
Roy Williams Strikes Back A hilarious cartoon by the Charlotte Observer's Grey Blackwell

Worker fraud feature on March Madness on Demand

By Marc Isenberg

For years employment consulting firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas has put out estimates that March Madness costs businesses ridiculous money in lost productivity. The 2007 estimate is $1.2 billion.

Recognizing that not every college-basketball obsessed fan is equipped with a TV in their office, CBS created NCAA March Madness on Demand.

Problems: You want to watch college hoops, not work. CBS needs ratings. You don't want to get fired. Solution: CBS, with the NCAA's blessing plausible deniability, devised the "Boss Button."

Here's how it works: You hear footsteps...you hit the "Boss Button" and the Madness stops. And a nifty-looking, although phony, spreadsheet instantly appears. Whew, that was a close call!

CBS touts the worker fraud feature in a recent press release:

“Boss Button” — Back by popular demand, the “Boss Button” is the one feature every MMOD user in the workplace should know about. One click of the “Boss Button” and the live video action on the screen will be replaced by a silent readymade spread sheet!

What will they think of next? The "proctor button" for student athletes not interested in studying?